Please stop putting yourself through this constant pain of hope and hatred in thinking that he’s actually putting you first. He’s not.
The only reason why you may seem like the first is because you’re putting yourself in his view. But not in the way you should. You’ve become a convenient option. When he wants you, he’ll reach out. Because he knows you’ll always be there. Sitting right there, ready to pick up your phone and answer his calls.
But he’s so great, right? When you’re together it seems that you two could be a great couple, take on the world. Well, take a step outside your clouded bubble and look at the big picture.
Who messages first? Oh he did this time? So let me ask this: have you spoken in over 3 days, a week? He’s just making sure he’s still on your mind while you were on his for a hot second.
He wants to keep you in his pocket. He knows you’ll do what he says. You’re good in bed, why wouldn’t he keep you nearby. When his ego starts to diminish he knows you’ll boost it back up again.
Because you can’t help it. No matter what you try to do, his affect on you was so strong that you can’t shake him. And yes, it’s infuriating but that’s the nature of the game. Someone always loses.
This time, make sure it’s him.
It’ll be hard. It’ll be painful. You’ll feel like an asshole for not reaching out, checking in. But think back to how many times he’s done that for you. And has done so for a genuine reason, not just to breadcrumb you. Realize that his ego is getting smaller and you were the easy way to keep it in tack. You were the option.
He’s not fighting for you. He’s not even trying. So stop giving him the same energy that you need. That you deserve. You’re feeding a fire with no flame. Not even a spark. Put the fire out and go find a flame that’s flickering for you.
Stay, and you’ll only get burned.