Why We Only Ever Catch Feelings

@giuliajrosa

We always joke about it. “I hope I don’t fall”. Catching feelings. It feels inevitable to some, impossible for others. So when we put these two things together, we’re left confused, sad, hurt and don’t know where we stand.

We have too many options. Though it may never feel like it, many people know that there are hundreds of other potential people out there and that’s why we hope we don’t fall in the first place. What if we end up falling for the wrong person? What if I’m in far too deep and they float at the shallow surface?

We don’t let ourselves fall. Now, some of us do and it usually ends in disaster. If we just gave into our emotions and let ourselves feel, then we could get a better understanding of each other and what we’re both looking for. If someone is falling in too deep and that other person doesn’t know, that person is at risk of drowning. And when they return, they’re unlikely to get back in the water any time soon in fear that they’ll drown again.

We play too many games. In a world of likes and follows, we want instant gratification. We want to know people are looking at us, wishing they could be or be with us. It feels good. Really good. Knowing that there is a line up of people wanting to be with us, or seeming like they want to get to know us. It’s all vanity fair.

Once we catch feelings, we may lose that satisfaction from the outside. People will see you’re taken and they’ll take their eyes off of you, moving on to the next. And while you’re in that relationship you’ve let yourself get into, that element of instant gratification will always sit at the back of your mind. So when you’re not getting the attention you feel you need from your partner, you fall back on the “catching feelings” stage rather than look at falling in love.

And maybe you’re afraid to fall in love. That’s OK. But we should always be looking ahead, not looking back. Enjoy this journey of being with this person who wants to be in your life. The person who cares what you’re thinking and how you’re feeling.

When you’re floating on the surface in a sea of people, everything will remain shallow. If you keep your head down, you may find someone else who’s ready to take the plunge.

This is why we need to let ourselves catch feelings. But we need to catch feelings and let the anchor fall. Allow ourselves to go deeper under the surface with this person. To be vulnerable, adventurous and curious. We don’t know what lies beneath…but we can’t be scared either.

Just dive in.